WND – You’re Only Paranoid if . . .

June 18, 2009


Mild panic is my default state for party planning. We’re throwing a baby shower for a friend this weekend and I’ve been planning the menu for the past three weeks. It’s not that it takes three weeks to plan a menu for ten people, but that’s when I sent out the invitations and therefore that’s when I started obsessing about it. On the downside I’ve revised the menu about once a day for the past three weeks. On the upside, I’ve only made one grocery shopping list, and I’ve mostly refrained from writing my ‘To Do’ list for Saturday more than once. In fairness, when I redo my ‘To Do’ lists multiple times at least once is because even I can’t always read my handwriting. This just means I would never be invited to be part of a medieval scriptorium, not that I’m completely OCD.

My problem is that I’m paranoid about having enough food and having enough variety of food for everyone to be able to eat happily. On the one hand in ten years of making Dinner I can only remember one time that I had to ration portions to make sure that everyone would have enough. And, on the other hand, maybe that’s because I’m always convinced that I won’t have enough food and make more than I think I could possibly need. In theory this means that my fridge should be stuffed with leftovers from Dinner, but it isn’t. This is partly because you can never underestimate how much Dinner will eat, and also because I tend to send leftovers home with people which means that I’m always out of Tupperware when I need it.

Baby Shower Brunch Picnic Provisional Menu (subject to change without notice)

Spanish Omelet
Yogurt Parfaits with granola
Fruit Salad
Honey Cake Banana Bread (volunteered)
Hummus and assorted veggies/pita
Gazpacho (delegated)
As yet undetermined breakfast pastry (delegated)

In defense of my three weeks of obsessing, this menu took a little finessing. When I emailed my mother asking for menu suggestions I told her it needed to be brunch picnic food that was kid friendly, vegetarian, mayonnaise-less, mostly egg-less and at least partially dairy free. Her response was, “are you fracking kidding me?”

Okay, that’s not what she said at all because (a) my mother doesn’t swear all that much, and (b) when she does, she isn’t likely to use a pseudo-swear word from a sci-fi show she’s never seen. However, the sentiment still came through loud and clear.

I failed dismally at eggless, which I think will be okay because the person who’s allergic to eggs can’t be there. I was more successful at mayonnaise-less. I know that it isn’t the mayonnaise in potato salad that makes it suspect at picnics, but my issue is more with the way that mayonnaise looks utterly unappealing when it gets hot than with health concerns. I also failed at dairy free, but this is mostly because I love yogurt parfaits and I really want to make my own granola*. Plus, if it gets hot enough this Sunday for me to be even remotely worried about dairy products going bad in the sun I’ll count it as a win. Right now I’d like everyone to be thinking very hard about it not raining on Sunday morning because this whole picnic thing will work much better if it’s actually outside rather than in my living room.

* Query, if I make my own granola does this automatically make me crunchy? Or am I okay so long as I don’t make a habit of it?


As proof of afore mentioned paranoia, I made one and a third times the recipe to be sure that there would be enough. In the end there were only six of us at Dinner last night and I not only had a slice leftover to send home with someone, but I also have a small pan of lasagna that I can give to someone else as a treat.

Recipe previously given: Look Ma, No Chicken

lasagna composite


One comment

  1. I think your stance on tofu prevents crunchiness 🙂

    We still plan on bringing pasta salad on Sunday.

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