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MND:Hijacked

July 31, 2012

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Since Jess has been busy with the U.S. Open and the new puppy, the rest of us have missed our weekly excuse to catch up and eat delicious food.  (Also, our time to play with the puppies.  We need our dog time.)  My excuse for hijacking this particular week is that I just moved into my very own condo, making hijacking MND sound like an easy substitute for a housewarming party.

Invariably, when you move into a new place, you spend the next few months learning things.

For instance, it turns out that my kitchen window lets in ants.  Given that the fan from the stove does not vent outside, this is unfortunate.  It’s even more unfortunate to discover this when one has arrived home only half an hour before guests are to arrive.  Oh well, lonza (which I was told would be even better with melon than prosciutto) and melon will keep people entertained for awhile, right?  Fortunately, the ants are gone in time for me to begin cooking before anyone arrives.

Digression:  I bake.  Well, I used to bake a lot before I lived in an apartment with an oven that couldn’t hold a temperature.  If it couldn’t be made in a toaster oven or a friend’s oven, I stopped making it.  So, I’ve been super excited about the gas stove and functioning oven in my new place.  Everyone else has been super excited that I’m starting to bake again.

Back to the main storyline:  It turns out that the new oven has a safety feature which automatically shuts down the oven when it gets too hot, say when the broiler has been on for twenty minutes straight while one broils repeated batches of eggplant and summer squash for a casserole.

I discovered this when, with two guests already there and four more on the way plus a casserole and a crisp to be baked, the oven shut down completely, even the digital clock.  According to my panicked scan, the oven manual does not mention this feature.  I had a vague memory that the circuit breaker for the unit was in the garage, but really didn’t want to go down three flights of stairs unless absolutely necessary.  So, we searched the closets just to reinforce that, yes, the circuit breaker really is in the garage.  (Picture the movie Clue here).  When the circuit breaker wasn’t flipped, we decided it had to be a safety feature.  (Running back upstairs in a group.)

Luckily, after two more guests arrived, the oven turned back on.  Time to pull out the appetizers and wine to keep people entertained while dinner finally cooks!
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TND – Rum, Sodomy & the Lash (err, not really)

July 25, 2012

The other week as I was standing in the check out line at Wilsons and ruefully surveying my weekly purchase of bags of lemons, limes and oranges I made a flippant comment about how apparently I was worried we were all going to die of scurvy.  The teenage checkout clerk shot me an alarmed look and asked in concerned tones, “Ma’am?  Are you alright?” Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – Wilting

July 18, 2012

My grandmother kept her bread in the oven. As a child this made perfect sense to me simply on the rationale that that was where Mimi kept her bread. She also drank buttermilk, washed her dishes in water three degrees below boiling (I inherited this), watched Dallas and had atrocious handwriting (possibly I also inherited this). It wasn’t remarkable, it just was. Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – You’re Not Allowed to Laugh

July 12, 2012

I, apparently, need a bowl.

It’s okay, I’ll wait while you all stop laughing hysterically and pointing at my china cabinet with its plethora of bowls.

My problem is that while I have three sets of soup bowls (in a variety of sizes, and quantities); and a large assortment of medium size serving bowls that are the right size for serving two people; and an even larger assortment of very large serving bowls that are the right size for serving Dinner; and a few small condiment size serving bowls; what I only have the one of is a bowl that’s in between medium and very large.   Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – The Experimental Pickle Edition

July 5, 2012

I got to the farmer’s market last Thursday at the very end of the day which is always a mixed blessing. On the one hand you sometimes get fantastic deals because the farmers don’t want to have to repack and take home the bits and pieces they have left, so they’ll sell them to you for a fraction of what they were during the day. On the other hand, they’re frequently sold out of whatever it was you actually needed. This is how I ended up with 12 crazy early mostly unripe peaches and then had to figure out what I was going to do with them. Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – Belated Posting

July 5, 2012

There’s a new ‘diet’ making the rounds that seems to primarily consist of fantasizing about food that you then don’t eat.  Okay, so there’s a little more to it than that.  The idea, as far as I can tell, is that if you think about whatever it is that you’re craving – a burger, an ice cream sundae, an enormous plate of macaroni and cheese – and you visualize yourself eating it, and imagine the tastes and smells in Technicolor detail you’ll then stop craving it.  Imagining the experience is, apparently, enough to satisfy the craving. Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – A Multiplicity of Fathers

June 15, 2012

I feel like Dads get short changed when it comes to Father’s Day. Mother’s Day always seems to allow for a multiplicity of kinds of mothers. Marketers seem to understand that not all mothers are the same – some like breakfast in bed, some want to be allowed to shower and dress before brunch, or want a picnic lunch halfway through an athletic hike, or just want to be taken out to a nice dinner. Some mothers will enjoy being sent flowers, and some will appreciate books. Mothers – it seems – come in all shape and sizes and temperaments. Read the rest of this entry »

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WND – Spring Dinner

June 7, 2012

When I finished 10th grade everyone involved agreed that for their sanity and mine it was better that Chemistry and I part ways. I don’t know exactly what my mental block on Chemistry was, but I was terrible at it. The only parts of it that I even marginally understood were the parts where you set peanuts on fire and boiled water in a test tube from the resulting flame (to calculate the number of calories in a peanut), and balancing equations. The balancing equations part of chemistry I still wasn’t exceptionally good at, but at least derived a sense of satisfaction from making everything achieve a state of equilibrium on either side of the = symbol. This is also, I suspect, why I enjoyed doing math proofs (plus, at the bottom of math proofs you get to write Q.E.D. which always made me feel terrible erudite and like I was one step closer to inhabiting a British school boy novel). Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – Embrace the Kitsch

May 31, 2012

There are certain things that I firmly believe you have to either have grown up with, or been introduced to at a tender and impressionable age to truly appreciate. Among these I include Ambrosia Salad, Marmite (or Vegemite) and the Eurovision Song Contest. I grew up with Ambrosia Salad at church picnics and was introduced to Eurovision in early middle school and love both unironically. Marmite/Vegemite I was also introduced to in early middle school, but think is one of the most revolting things you can do to an innocent piece of toast. So possibly you can grow to appreciate Eurovision, but Vegemite has to be introduced to you prenatally. Read the rest of this entry »

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TND – (Not The) Mad Hatter’s (Birthday) Tea Party

May 21, 2012

I have a very clear memory of walking down a street with my mother when I was quite young being given a crash course in Afternoon Tea etiquette as we made our way to the house of a British friend of hers. I don’t remember whether I successfully didn’t embarrass my mother (on that particular occasion, at any rate), but I was quite young (and American) so I probably got a pass from her friend (who, being that kind of English, would have been too polite to say anything anyway). Read the rest of this entry »